Rant #1

My rant is that I have no idea what to rant about. Its not that there isn't anything to rant about because in fact, there has been many things happening, but I can simplify most of this poppycock. The problem I have with my brother is communication. Not lack of, but an abundance. We have to talk about everything, not casual pondering life talks, but these grand serious "sit down" and talk talks. Its beyond exhausting. The other problem that I have is that simplicity to a schizophrenic is an opportunity for absolute fools folly. It doesn't matter how simple the problem is, a schizophrenic will find a way to royally fuck it up but turning it into a power struggle, and it doesn't matter what "it" is. It could be over who gets what room, or a shower, or a house key. It can be about literally anything as long as its petty. It seems that complex ideas like taking time to observe patters to ones own actions, that kind of self reflection is absolutely NOT THERE. If every time you try to do something and it fails, at some point one would start looking for a different approach to your problems. But not a schizophrenic. They will do the same thing over, and over, and over repeating the same mistakes, and never looking at their behaviors and comparing it to the outcome of their situations which are almost always bad. Instead, everything from buying a car, to picking out a fucking stick of gum is labored over, mulled about in the head, options weighed, red, or green, or maybe red, or is it green? Nonono! Its red. And DO NOT REVISIT that situation because all it provides to my brother is an opportunity to find some obscure pattern is something that is said and done. Nit pick EVERYTHING.... To death...

So my brother and I had an issue. It was over something that he did, and especially the way he went about it. But thats just the catalyst for the real situation which was a power play my brother sprung on me. The face of the absurd? You damn well bet it was! Ever know exactly what someone was doing, but you couldn't for the life of yourself tell why they choose to do it that way and why they would even try? Asking for a simple key is not to my brother "just" asking for a simple key. It is this elaborate plan, where I get out of bed, I trip over a wire which triggers a shoe, which kicks the ball, which rolls down the hill, which hits a bottle rocket, which ricochets off of a barn hitting a string breaking it which in turn makes a chair fall, then he will say "we must talk". But for my brother it never turns out this way. Instead, he just does something horribly offensive, and deeply personally insulting, and then expects you to sit with him for 30 minutes with a shit eating smirk on his face clammed up tight as a drum and you asking whats going on over and over without a response. So to my brother, I love you dude, but no more... This will never happen again for sure.