8/30/2012 Trying To Build A Network

I talked with my brother today. He seems fine (my brother always "seems" fine) but there is melancholy in his voice. I don't blame him, I am sure where he is must be humiliating and a horrible experience for him. He said he was OK, his voice has been a little horse, but he is his usual calm unshakable self. My brother has a very good "phone poker face" so when talking to him I am never quite sure how to interpret what he is telling me. Really the only time that I know something is wrong is when he is alone, delusional, paranoid, and exhausted from several days without sleep, or floating on an hour of sleep here, and an hour of sleep there. Otherwise there is nothing really significant to report other than I am waiting for my brother to come home. After that, I have no idea what is going to happen. My mother has it in her head that he is being medicated and treated at the hospital, but I suspect that he isn't. My reasoning is that my brother has the right to refuse medication as long as he is there, and my brother is convinced that he doesn't need the medication so why would he take it if he isn't required to? The only exception may be that he will comply in effort to shorten his stay, but usually they can only hold him up to 96 hours and he has been in the hospital for approximately 120 hours, well over the 96 hour cut off point. They are keeping him longer than the normal amount of time which leads me to believe that he is being evaluated for something, or they are waiting for something to happen. The problem as I have stated is that my brother and the mental health system here in Missouri (as per their legal procedures) have not empowered me, the person closes to my brother to be an active hand in helping my brother recover. I am beginning to feel as if maybe even my family, especially my mother are scared to take this the entire distance. My mom wants my brother to be independent, and she feels that he does not need to be institutionalized, at this point, as I look at everything, my brothers refusal to take his meds, his denial, his dissociative issues, what I see is a repetitive pattern. So if I were ask my mother, what do you mean when you say you want to "help" my brother? What exactly is "helping", and to "do what"? I have an answer for that question, I just don't know if my mother has the same answer. My answer is this, I want to help my brother so he will better understand his illness, or at least see that taking his medication spot on regularly will help him improve the quality of his life so that my brother can actually be independent... truly independent. Or at least as independent as a man with schizophrenia can be. And who knows, part of the success of this equation is finding a way to get it through my brothers head that he needs his meds to do more than just survive, he needs his meds to thrive.